5 Ideas to Help You Cope With Betrayal Trauma as You Ring in the New Year

What is Betrayal Trauma? 

Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you trust with your physical, mental, and emotional needs violates your safety and breaks the bond of trust. The security of the relationship can shatter within moments. 

Betrayal trauma can be life-changing and devastating. For example, discovering a sexual addiction or infidelity may feel like the ultimate betrayal. For many, it becomes the crossroad of the relationship. Do you stay together or go your separate ways? Couples who face these decisions are left to weigh the pros and cons. Having to make such a difficult decision is often heart-wrenching, especially when there are children involved. It's no wonder you're struggling to cope. The good news is, there is hope. Likewise, healing from betrayal trauma is possible, and happiness can return. 

In the meantime, is it possible to enjoy the holiday season while living with betrayal trauma? 

5 Ideas That May Help You Enjoy the Holiday While Living With Betrayal Trauma

Let's discuss some ideas that may help you enjoy this holiday season. 

1. Self-care. During moments of emotional distress, you may feel like staying in bed all day. However, try to set a goal to get out of bed, eat healthy foods, and get ready for the day, every day. Self-care can boost your mental, physical, and emotional health. 
2. Set Boundaries. Discuss and set boundaries for any upcoming celebrations. Do you need to drive separately? Will you be staying with family who may not know your circumstance? If so, decide together what is ok to discuss with others and possible responses to questions you're not ready to address. Setting boundaries ahead of time can help you put your mind at ease. 
3. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a skill that can help you stay in the moment. For example, as thoughts come, you let them go and return to the present moment rather than spending time on them. What can you see, hear, smell, or feel? Mindfulness can help you acknowledge your emotions. Likewise, it can help you with self-compassion as you try and heal from your betrayal trauma. As a result, it may help you feel more present so you can enjoy what's going on around you.
4. Make a gratitude list. Being grateful may help you shift your focus to more positive thoughts. For example, try to think of at least three things you're thankful for every day. 
5. Seek support. Reaching out to someone to talk about your emotions and experience can be beneficial. Keep in mind, conversations of blame and hate don't usually lead to solutions.

Betrayal trauma can affect people very differently.

For example, you may have a friend in a similar experience who seems to be moving forward without hesitation. Meanwhile, you feel like you're struggling to get through the day without crying. As a result, things may not be feeling merry and bright this holiday season. Remember to practice self-compassion and let go of any expectations of how you think you should handle betrayal trauma. 

If you find yourself stuck in your emotions, therapy may be a good solution. Betrayal trauma is real. Likewise, the symptoms of trauma can affect many areas of your life. If you're feeling stuck, a therapist may be able to help you. 

At Thrive Relational Recovery, we understand the complexities of betrayal trauma. As a result, we've devoted ourselves to helping our clients heal. We may be able to help you too. Call us today.