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How can you handle betrayal trauma during a quarantine?
David Ferrell • May 14, 2020
So you just found out that your spouse or partner has betrayed you, yet you are living under a stay-at-home quarantine order. What do you do?
Every relationship is unique, and each betrayal trauma situation is different. While some couples can process and work through the incident, many do not even know where to start.
Due to the outbreak of Covid-19, many couples are enduring stay-at-home orders. While living under quarantine, spouses are discovering addictions, infidelity, and other sexual relations. As such, betrayal trauma is on the rise. With nowhere to go, couples are trying to manage the stress of the pandemic and now the heartache of betrayal trauma.
In this article, we'll discuss ways those who have been betrayed are navigating trauma and heartache while living in quarantine.
For those with betrayal trauma, social distancing feels like a nightmare.
Discovering your spouse’s addictions or infidelity can be devastating. During this time of self-isolation and social distancing, the feelings of being alone are even greater. For those working through their spouses betrayal being unable to meet up with friends or family for support is adding to the pain.
In general, many people rely on social interactions to talk to friends about their feelings. At this time of living in quarantine, the lack of physical support leaves us feeling alone. As such, the initial impact of betrayal trauma seems to be even harder to handle.
If you are living with betrayal trauma, you don't have to suffer alone. At Thrive Relational Recovery, we can meet with you online.
We can provide you with the support you need.
Can I manage my betrayal trauma while in quarantine?
As everyone is trying to adjust to a new way of life, adding the emotions of betrayal trauma may feel too overwhelming to manage. As if trying to get through your day wasn't hard enough, now you're adding an extra load of stress and emotions. What can you do when you want to pull the blanket over your head and stay in bed all day? Here are a few ideas:
- Do yoga. Because trauma is stored in the body it helps to do subtle, focused movements. Focus on your breathing and feeling your body even if you only have a couple of minutes to yourself. Conscious movements will help. This process can help quiet your thoughts or slow your heart rate.
- Try grounding. Focus on what you can see, touch, feel, taste, and smell in this moment. This exercise redirects your thoughts and brings you back to the present moment.
- Write. The emotions connected with betrayal trauma can be so overwhelming. Writing down your thoughts can be therapeutic.
- Make a gratitude list. By making a list of what you are thankful for, you can shift your focus and positively affect your mood.New Paragraph
Can couples actually heal from betrayal trauma during a quarantine
Any couple who has been together for a length of time will tell you a story about an event that shook them to their core and made them question if they could go forward, unified, and strong. As a couple resolves this ultimate dilemma, they develop a level of trust and confidence in the relationship that enables them to follow through no matter what comes ahead. They don’t need to be afraid, but can convert that energy of fear into a fascination of how to turn the current challenge and hardship
into a powerful opportunity to grow.
Living with betrayal trauma is so hard, especially during a quarantine. At Thrive Relational Recovery, we're helping women, couples, and families heal. We are available online to help you begin your healing process too.
Written by
David Ferrell
A Licensed Professional Counselor, and a Certified Addictions Counselor. I have over 25 years of experience in the mental health field. I work very well with adults, teens and older children in a wide variety of challenges.
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